Do you hate working with someone new? Knowing that it is going to take time to work out how to get the best of them?
When you start working with someone new, do you just hope for the best?
The most effective people managers don’t leave working relationships to chance. They have a repeatable and structured approach to their very first conversation.
That conversation? It’s based on what my good friend and host of the Superstar Communicator Podcast (miss another episode.), Susan Heaton Wright, calls a “Diva Contract”
Use the Diva Contract – which can be done in 10 mins – to prevent 90% of future problems.
Your Diva Contract will help your junior or new team member feel safe, listened too and supported. Whilst you will establish what you really need from them.
Listen to this episode to discover:
- How to introduce the “Diva Contract” and share your own working preferences.
- The importance of asking your team members for their “terms”.
- How to agree on a ‘mistake protocol’ to make it safe for people to raise problems early.
- Why this short conversation saves you hours of frustration down the line.
If you find this episode useful, don’t forget to like it and then subscribe so you don’t miss another episode.
You can also listen to this episode on Substack and on Apple Podcasts
When you’re working with a new junior or even a new client, do you just cross your fingers and hope it will go well?
You know, just the relationship will evolve? Or do you have a process to engineer success right from the very first conversation?
On a recent group coaching call, we were discussing how the most effective professionals don’t leave working relationships to chance. They’re very proactive with how they make them happen. And they formalise the ground rules.
Today, I want to introduce you to a concept that my good friend and colleague, Susan Heaton-Wright, former opera singer and the founder of the Superstar Communicator podcast, she taught me this one. It’s called the Diva Contract. It’s where you’re up front with people you work with about what you need from them or how you need them to be with you so that you can be at their best and perform your best for them.
And actually, you can extend this Diva Contract into working with juniors.
And, you know, if the name doesn’t resonate with you, just think of it as a 10-minute upfront conversation about working styles that prevents 90% of future problems.
This is a How To Make Partner podcast with me, Heather Townsend, the author of Poised for Partnership and co-author of How To Make Partner And Still Have A Life.
In this episode, I’ll be highlighting some of the great stuff in our Progress To Partner Academy. New episodes are released weekly, so press subscribe so you never miss a new episode.
Let’s get more into what my friend and colleague, Susan Heaton-Wright, calls the diva contract. And before you worry, this is not about a diva and making outrageous demands and going, only give me blue a cent. It’s the exact opposite.
It’s a simple upfront exchange conversation about what you both need to be at your best.
It’s about being professional enough to define the rules of engagement, how you work together, rather than letting them arise organically, which is often what we do, because we just go straight into the work, don’t we? Which is often when I call it, it’s often a code for messily and problems are coming up.
So let me first introduce you to the concept and share your terms. This is where you go first. You could say something like, before we get into the work, it’d be helpful if you spent 10 minutes just agreeing on how we’re going to work together. Then you might like to share your preferences.
For example, you might say, just to let you know I’m a morning person, I often email at 7am, but I don’t expect an immediate response to you at that time. Or to help me process things quickly, the worst thing you can do is send me a three-page email. Please always put the key action or the key points I need to take right at the top in bold.
This leads to the second crucial point.
You have to ask them for their terms. This is a two-way conversation. Just as you need them to know how to work with you, you also need it the other way around.
So after you’ve shared your terms, turn it over to them. Ask them directly. Things like, how do you like feedback? What’s the best way to communicate with you? Is it a quick call, a teen’s message or an email? You know, are you an early person? Are you likely to log in on the evening? What is it that I need to do to help you be at your best?
And actually, this builds psychological safety from day one.
It shows respect and acknowledges that they matter too and their working style matters too.
And this brings us probably to the third and most important clause in your Diva contract.
Agreeing on what you want to happen if they make a mistake or they think they’re going to blow the budget on the job.
And often the biggest source of anxiety in a new working relationship, you know, maybe you haven’t given much work to this junior in the past, is the fear of getting something wrong.
You know, they don’t want to make a mistake and you might be that sort of highly regarded professional that they really don’t want to make a mistake for you. But you need to address this head on. You know, be explicit. You can say, you know, one last thing, we’re all human and mistakes will happen.
What I want you to do if you realize there’s a mistake or if you’re going to go over budget on the time I’ve allocated to you is pick up the phone and call me immediately. Go, I’m not going to blame you. I want to go hard on the problem, not you.
I just need to know as early as possible so that we can fix it together. And this is about creating that safe environment for people to raise problems early, which is going to save you down the line. It’s absolutely critical.
You could even emphasize it and go, I’m only going to get annoyed with you, which is what people are really worried about.
If you try and hide the mistake or cover up any problems I should know about. And then you could even say, look, we’re all human. Yeah, I might sort of get annoyed if you don’t listen, you don’t learn, you don’t take it on and you’re still making these mistakes, you know, on the third or fourth time we’re working together.
So really set the ground rules with them. So to recap, The Diva contract is a simple tool to proactively manage your working relationships.
You introduce the idea with the junior, you share your terms, you ask for theirs, and you agree on what happens if they go over budget, what happens if they make a mistake, what happens if they can see a problem.
You might even like to let them know, please do challenge me. I don’t want an order taker. I want a thinker on this job.
And actually, this 10-minute conversation builds trust, clarifies expectations, and it could save you hours of rework and frustration down the line.
Now, if you’re thinking, I get the theory, but I need a proper structure, I need more for developing not just one person, but my whole team, especially when we’re not in the same office, especially when my team is just a shared resource that are not a fixed team. That’s why we’ve got in our Progress to Partner Academy, the course, How to Create a Strong Hybrid Team, it’s particularly developed for people like you that may not have a fixed team, that have a shared resource, that are dealing with the fact that partners may nick your resource.
We’ve also got our How to Excel as a Line Manager course, and both of those are packed with scripts and strategies for having these conversations. Now, I popped a link to get 12 months membership of our Progress to Partner Academy in the show notes.
If you want access to everything, you can join our membership and use the code PODCAST10 to get 10% off 12 months of premium annual membership. And also in the show notes, you’ll find links to my book so you can easily find them on Amazon. So that’s all for this episode of the How to Make Partner podcast.
Before I go into your one action for the week, if you’ve enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
This helps us get the work out to others who may need this advice too.
Remember to hit subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s episode.
Right, your one action for this week.
Next time, and maybe this week, maybe it’s someone you’ve not worked with, pick one person. Maybe it’s a junior, maybe a colleague, maybe even your boss and have a mini diva contract conversation.
Start by sharing one of your working preferences and ask them for one of theirs.
That’s your action for this week.
About Progress To Partner Academy: On-demand career help and guidance
You have to drive your career forwards. Your firm wouldn’t do that for you.
Stop waiting to be noticed for career development courses by your firm.
Make the firm notice you! You will get the skills and knowledge about what the partners are really looking for when you join our Progress to Partner Academy.
In our Progress To Partner Academy you’ll find our popular courses:
– How to delegate like a pro
– How to lead a hybrid team
– How to excel as a line manager
Join our Progress To Partner Academy and use the code PODCAST10 to get 10% off 12 months of premium annual membership.
Links
Complete my FREE Partnership Readiness Assessment – to see where you have gaps in your own development – you’ll get a personalised report with actions for what progress your career forward
Connect with me on LinkedIn
Join Progress To Partner Academy and use the code PODCAST10 to get 10% off 12 months of premium annual membership.
Buy your hard copy of Poised for Partnership or buy the Ebook here
Buy your copy of How To Make Partner And Still Have A Life
Buy your copy of The Go To Expert –
Buy your copy of The Financial Times Guide To Business Networking
Join my Progress To Partner Academy and access all my courses and use the code PODCASTBP10 to get 10% off 12 months of premium annual membership.
______________________________________
More help to progress your career in your law, accountancy or consulting firm?
- Sign up to my weekly tips packed full of advice and knowledge on how to progress your career in your professional service firm – click here!
