Picture this: You’re on the partnership track. Your partners want to see you being a good firm citizen – getting involved in office initiatives, social mobility programs, pro bono work, workplace culture activities. So you say yes. You say yes again. And again.
But now you’re stretched thin. Your utilisation is suffering. You’re working longer hours just to keep up with your chargeable work. And you’ve got six non-chargeable responsibilities when you probably only have capacity for two.
How do you have the conversation to drop some of these responsibilities without partners thinking you’re selfish or not committed to the firm? This is one of the biggest bear traps for professionals on the partnership track – and today, we’re going to solve it.
In this episode you will learn:
- Why partners actually have conflicting views on firm citizenship (and how to navigate what this means for you)
- The exact conversation framework to use when you need to drop commitments without triggering the “not a firm citizen” response
- How to assess which firm citizenship activities are strategically valuable versus dead-end time sinks
- Why going to the wrong person first about dropping responsibilities can backfire politically – and who to approach instead
If you find this episode useful, don’t forget to like it and then subscribe so you don’t miss another episode.
What help is out there for you to progress your career in the professions?
If you’re thinking, ‘I get the theory, but I need more help managing my time better so I can do both chargeable work and firm citizenship well’, our Progress To Partner Academy can help you.
That’s precisely why we have a suite of courses in the Progress to Partner Academy to help you with this. For example, our course ‘How to Make Time for Business Development’ gives you practical frameworks for managing competing priorities and having the right conversations about your workload. And we have great videos on navigating politics and learning how to gracefully say no to partners.
You can also listen to this episode on Substack and on Apple Podcasts
Picture this: You’re on the partnership track. Your partners have made it clear they want to see you being a good firm citizen – getting involved in office initiatives, social mobility programs, pro bono work, and workplace culture activities. So you say yes. You say yes again. And again.
But now you’re stretched thin. Your utilisation is suffering. You’re working longer hours just to keep up with your chargeable work. And you’ve got six non-chargeable responsibilities when you probably only have capacity for two.
How do you have the conversation to drop some of these responsibilities without partners thinking you’re selfish or not committed to the firm?
This is one of the biggest bear traps for professionals on the partnership track – and today, we’re going to solve it.
This is the How to Make Partner podcast with me, Heather Townsend. The author of Poised for Partnership, and co-author of How to Make Partner and Still Have a Life. In this podcast, I will be highlighting some of the great stuff in our Progress To Partner Academy. New episodes are released weekly, so press subscribe so you never miss a new episode.
Right, let’s tackle this firm citizenship dilemma.
I recently hosted a panel with three partners from a large global firm, and we had a really frank discussion about this exact tension. And here’s what became immediately clear: the partners themselves don’t agree on the answer.
One partner was very clear: you should be saying yes to everything. Why? Because everything you do is raising your profile, exposing you to new people, broadening your skill set.
She said if somebody came to her and said, “I don’t want to be on the social committee anymore because I’m busy and I’m going to be a partner and I don’t have time for it anymore,” a little bit of her would think, “Not sure I like that.”
Why? Because the social committee is part of the office. The office is important. If you work well together and throw social events together, the office thrives. That’s her perspective as an office managing partner. Her agenda is that she wants you to say yes to everything that will help her office be successful and happy.
Another partner on the panel, who’d made partner in two different firms, pushed back on this. He said yes, you should probably start from a position of saying yes more than saying no. But he added something crucial: some of that stuff might not be the most glamorous or exciting, but it usually pays you back longer term. Particularly in a smaller office where people have to wear multiple hats.
His message: at this stage you should be saying yes a lot more than you’re saying no. But – and this is important – he wasn’t saying yes to everything forever.
Then the third partner added the critical caveat: once you’re a partner, you have more license to be selective. But when you’re trying to make partner, the ability to take on as much as you can and be a good citizen is very important. However, if it’s stretching you too much or it’s just not tenable, you’ve got to flag it back because you don’t want to be suffering as a result.
So what do you do with these conflicting messages?
The truth no one says out loud
Here’s what I’ve learned from working with hundreds of professionals on the partnership track: your partners want you to say yes to everything AND maintain high utilisation AND not burn out. They want all three. And they’re not going to tell you which one to sacrifice because that would require them to make a difficult decision.
So the decision gets pushed down to you. And if you get it wrong – if you say yes to too much and your utilisation drops, or if you say no and look uncommitted – that’s on you, not them.
This is why so many people on the partnership track end up burnt out. They’re trying to do the impossible: please everyone whilst also maintaining their sanity.
So let me give you the framework that actually works.
The conversation you need to have
If you’ve taken on too much – and you know you’ve taken on too much because you’re either struggling to hit your utilisation targets or you’re working unsustainable hours or both – you need to have a conversation. But you need to have it with the right person, at the right time, framed in the right way.
First, the right person. This is where people make a massive political mistake. They go to the senior partner or the office managing partner because those people have influence. But they skip their direct line manager.
Big mistake.
One of the partners on my panel told me about people who came to him to talk about their career before they’d gone to their local leader or direct manager. Without having that conversation locally first, it didn’t land well with their line manager. They felt bypassed. And that damaged the relationship.
His advice: remember where your bread is buttered. Go to the most natural place first. If your direct reporting line is to someone specific, go to them first. Have the conversation. Then maybe say, “I’d also like to get the office managing partner’s view,” and they’ll probably say, “Of course, go for it.”
Second, the timing. Don’t wait until you’re so overwhelmed that you’re about to hand in your notice. Have the conversation when you first realise things are unsustainable. Your partners would rather have that conversation early than discover too late that you’ve been suffering in silence.
Third, how you frame it. This is critical. Don’t make it about you being too busy. Frame it around what’s best for the firm and your partnership case.
Instead of: “I’m too busy for the social committee.”
Try: “I want to make sure I’m being focused with my time so I can deliver the strongest partnership case possible. I’m currently involved in X, Y, and Z. Given that my utilisation needs to be at A% and I’m building my practice in B area, which of these commitments would you suggest I focus on, and which might I need to step back from?”
Notice what you’ve done there. You’ve positioned yourself as commercial, strategic, and focused on the firm’s needs. You’re asking for guidance, not permission. You’re treating your career progression as if it matters to the firm, because it does.
What usually happens next
Here’s what’s interesting about this conversation. You might go in thinking you need to drop the social committee. But in the conversation, your line manager might say, “Actually, the social committee is really visible right now. What about stepping back from the pro bono project instead?”
You end up dropping something different from what you expected. And that’s fine. The point isn’t to control the outcome. The point is to have the conversation before you break.
One thing I’ve learned: partners would much rather have this conversation than have you burn out or leave. But they won’t initiate it. You have to.
The real answer to “should I say yes or no?”
So here’s the real answer to the firm citizenship dilemma: say yes to more things than feels comfortable, but not so many that you break. And when you hit that breaking point, have the conversation early, with the right person, framed around the firm’s interests.
The professionals who navigate this successfully aren’t the ones who say yes to everything forever. They’re the ones who know when to have the hard conversation about stepping back from commitments that aren’t serving their partnership case.
Being a good firm citizen isn’t about saying yes to everything until you collapse. It’s about being strategic with your commitments and having honest conversations when something needs to change.
Now, if you’re thinking, “This makes sense, but I need help actually having these conversations and managing my time better,” that’s exactly what our course “How to Make Time for Business Development” addresses in the Progress To Partner Academy. The course gives you practical frameworks for managing competing priorities and having difficult conversations about your workload. We also have great videos on navigating politics and learning how to gracefully say no to partners.
If you’re unsure where to focus your efforts or which commitments actually matter for your partnership case, start with our free Partnership Readiness Assessment. It takes about 12 minutes and gives you an instant report showing exactly which key indicators you need to focus on. This helps you make strategic decisions about where to invest your time.
I’ve popped a link to the Partnership Readiness Assessment and our Progress To Partner Academy directly in the show notes for this episode. Also in the show notes, you’ll find links to my books – Poised for Partnership and How to Make Partner and Still Have a Life – so you can easily find them on Amazon. And as a thank you for listening, there’s also a link for a 10% discount on annual membership for our Progress To Partner Academy using the code PODCAST10.
That’s all for this episode of the How to Make Partner podcast.
What’s your action for this week?
If you’re stretched too thin with firm citizenship commitments, identify who you need to have the conversation with. Your direct line manager, probably. Then book time with them this week. Don’t wait until you’re at breaking point. Have the conversation now, framed around delivering the strongest partnership case possible.
If you have enjoyed this episode please leave us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or give us a comment on Substack. This helps us get the word out to others who may need this advice too. Remember to hit subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s episode. Thanks for listening!
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Links
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